Protect
by Wingsfan
Summary: There can only be better days ahead. Post Loss. Part three of the Six Degrees of Separation series.


Disclaimer: Again, I do not own any of the characters, brands name and such. I only own my active imagination, and a whole lot of free time.   
This is written in Olivia's POV. Tell me you love it, hate it, don't like it. Anything.

* * *

Professional, yet personal. That's how it was for us. We were always in a constant, synchronized movement heading in different directions, yet we still managed to find each other in the darkness of the night. We were brought together by one common interest : Justice. Ironically, justice was what separated us.  
  
To laugh or cry, one of us would seek the other out. Temptation knocks on our doors all the time, trying its best to break through the barricades that we have built in order to carry out our jobs. Once or twice, when the temptation had gotten too great, we had given in. In the confines of the apartment, we would let our guard down, shed the cold and professional facade, and bare our souls to each other.  
  
Thinking back, I was always the one that needed the release, not you. Whenever I felt as though I was losing my grip, you were always there to reach out to and catch me. You were always the stronger one. Sure, I was the one with the gun and the handcuffs, but you could make a grown man break down into tears in the blink of an eye.   
  
It never ceases to amaze me just how much you were willing to give. It scares me just how much I have come to depend on your strength and your ability to see through me every time. You never questioned why or when, yet you always appeared at the right place and the right time. It was as though my heart called out for you every time and you answered the call willingly.  
  
As the planets aligned themselves in the universe, so did the course of our relationship. When it was that our relationship had changed, I don't know. All I know is that I found myself wanting your company more and you seemed to want the same as well. Gradually, we became closer. It didn't take long for the guys to realize that, you know. Elliot, for one, was glad that I had someone who understood my job. Me, I was glad to have someone to ramble my ideas to and to have a shoulder to cry on.   
  
Some days, it's too much for me. How people can do such atrocities in the name of love and family is beyond my comprehension. After so many years on the job my gag reflex has yet to fail me. I don't think I'll ever get used to it, despite my best efforts at hiding it.  
  
I know it gets to you too sometimes. But you were never one to show your emotions in public. You never wanted people to see the weak Alex, the Alex that mourns the victims. No, you'd never let your guard down when there were others around. Only when it was late at night, when it was just the two of us, would you let your guard down and let out all the pent up frustration.  
  
Words cannot even begin to describe just how much you mean to me. I could say a thousand words and it wouldn't even show a glimpse of what we shared. Sometimes when I think back, I can't help but feel a little proud. Proud because I had someone like you to call a friend. Someone as smart, passionate and beautiful as you, was my friend.   
  
The other day Elliot and I had to pretend to be a pair of arguing siblings who worked together to draw a confession out of a suspect. I pretended it was an argument between my mom and I. Elliot seemed reluctant to do it. I know he sensed my hesitance but it didn't matter. The suspect lapped up whatever we threw at her, and before long she gave us what we wanted.  
  
As I went home that night I couldn't get the whole 'argument' with Elliot out of my head. I couldn't sleep that night. There were too many thoughts flying through my mind at 60 miles per hour. You weren't there, like you usually were, to keep my feet on the ground.  
  
It used to hurt so much whenever I thought about my childhood, but you managed to help me through it. I never realized why I had reacted so coldly when the captain told me that my mom died, drunk. You helped me through the guilt, the shame, and the pain. Without you, I would probably still be drowning myself with all the pain, guilt and work that the world could throw at me.  
  
Somehow, seeing you barely alive with that sling on your shoulder didn't cut it for me. I was a cop, and I was supposed to protect people. I was supposed to protect you. But I failed. Both as a friend and as a cop. I would have gone to the ends of the world to keep you safe. You mean the world to me, and I've failed you.   
  
You're alive, yet I cry myself to sleep at night, only to be awakened by my tears in the morning. There can only be better days ahead. Maybe tomorrow's the day that my pillow will finally be dry in the morning.


End file.
